Jealousy is a double-edged sword, both as a booster for love to heat up and as a trigger for quarrels and conflicts. Only by using the positive effects of jealousy and making it a source of mutual attraction to keep things fresh can you truly test the love quotient between you and escalate true love.
Your significant other calls you by the wrong name; his eyes linger too long on your BFF; he gets excited at the mention of some female colleague …… Jealousy is thus ignited. Jealousy – a combination of possession, suspicion, anger and shame – can make you lose your mind, and whenever you think of that “enemy”, a strong sense of threat comes over you like a violent storm.
Whenever you start a love affair, this green-eyed monster – so says Shakespeare – is always in your mind: no matter how much the love affair is, it’s always in your heart. Not coiled in your heart: whether love crazy, or not very committed, or even you do not like each other much. Both men and women are jealous creatures – although women are more inclined to win back men’s hearts, while men seem to value money and status more and will give up love to protect their pride and face.
Jealousy afflicts other species as well.
Primate scholar Jenny Goodall once described a female chimpanzee named Parson who, when her partner neglected her and began pursuing another female, would turn on the other young male When her partner ignored her and began to pursue another female, Parson would wiggle his butt and strike the classic (for an orangutan) “come to me” pose.
Parson insults her partner in this way. The blue mockingbird is also a jealous animal. Evolutionary biologist David Barras conducted an experiment with a pair of blue robins of breeding age. While the male was away from the nest, a stuffed male robin was placed on a branch three feet from the nest, where the female rested. When the male returned, he kept circling over the nest, emitting a coarse, harsh call and pecking angrily at his lover. Then the male began to attack the female, ripping the feathers from her wings. The female had to flee.
Why do we develop jealousy? Psychologists often blame the devil of jealousy on childhood trauma or a sign of psychological problems.
But the truth is that people who are unfulfilled, insecure, or overly dependent on others are more likely to be jealous.
But the monster of jealousy has evolved from some positive factors.
The positive effects of jealousy
Throughout the history of human love Jealousy has gotten many lovers out of breakups, and has been the bond that has kept many families together.
At the same time, jealousy can make a woman determined to leave a bad man who is married and still cheating on her and find a more valuable and meaningful love. Even for love itself, jealousy can sometimes be a good thing.
When one partner in love is in a frenzy of jealousy, how can the other partner not gloat over his or her own charm? Or when you find another woman flirting with your man, wouldn’t you be jealous so you can bring out the best in him and make your love burn even hotter?
The negative effects of jealousy
But jealousy can sometimes distort human nature twisted. Some people become the pastime of the monster of jealousy, and they feel their self-esteem damaged by it, even pushing their loved ones into the arms of others – isn’t that what they fear most?
Worst of all, others become violent as a result – and worldwide, jealousy is also the leading cause of domestic violence.
So what do you do when jealousy is causing you a lot of pain?
First, figure out if he’s really cheating on you.
If so, then you’re facing a completely different issue: you need to seriously consider whether you want to end the relationship.
But if you find that you’re snooping into his life or snooping through his emails, then stop it. These moves are just costing you your own life. You can tell him that you are trying to control your suspicions and need him to help you do it.
The other result is that maybe eventually you realize that you’ll never feel safe with such a flirtatious man around. That’s when you can think about the saying: walk out that door and the sea will open.
Yo-yo relationship tips for girls: don’t scare him away with jealousy
Moderate jealousy is a human condition and the spice of love. A little jealousy will make a man feel valued, and a man will find a girlfriend with a small mouth like this really cute. However, excessive jealousy will make men feel unlimited pressure. Don’t scare him away with jealousy. 2 girl love tips to help you get the upper hand in love.
The difference between cute jealousy and excessive jealousy can be judged by, “Can you calmly end this conversation and start the next one? That is to say, excessive jealousy is to keep guessing and worrying without any basis, and to be unable to carry on other topics. Lovely jealousy is when one is only slightly suspicious and immediately drawn to other interesting topics.
In fact, there are still a significant number of women who are jealous without any basis for their blind anxiety. And this jealousy, but also slowly rooted in the habit, once the habit of jealousy will be unable to extricate themselves. The next step is that this mentality can easily intensify, not only to intensify, but also many people will find some reasons for themselves, always saying “I do not want to be jealous and angry, but the other party makes me insecure” and so on.
If a woman really believes in her man, he will also feel your trust, and will think twice about cheating, if you keep on wondering, “Is there any other woman he is attracted to besides me? “The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
1. When in doubt, don’t rush to accuse him, but step back and calm down and think about what to do
You need to think about how he treats you on a regular basis, how often he meets, how enthusiastic he is, his expressions, his words, his actions, his attitude, etc., and give him a score in your mind to see if he has been cold to you or not. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
2. If jealousy puts you on the verge of an outbreak, it doesn’t help to play hardball and use circuitous tactics to save the day
Hold a sense of crisis immediately in the event of an initial discovery of an abnormality. It is this time to treat your lover more gently and with more care than usual, to make him feel your charm and irreplaceability. Unknowingly you will be able to overcome the invisible opponent. The jealousy and jealousy will only push the man farther and farther away, just to give the opponent the opportunity to take advantage of, this kind of money-losing business think we will not do it. The majority of men in the relationship is in a passive, they are not as fickle as women, there is no avenue to speak, so quietly around them to give them warmth and care, support to help, is an important means of capturing the hearts of men.
Love is a war, although no smoke, but thrilling, sisters only with wisdom to defend their love, do not be stupid, always crying and noisy women will not be favored for too long. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not only in the market, but also in the marketplace.