The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult to settle since ancient times, and how can modern daughters-in-law accept the old ideas of their mothers-in-law? If you can tolerate the past, you can’t tolerate a doomed “mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war. The following are the experiences of people who have been through the process with their mothers-in-law.
1. “Change has to come little by little. You can’t expect a 60-year-old mother-in-law to fully accept your values and consumerism overnight. Too violent a change will make the elderly insecure.” Qu Huichao, a 29-year-old civil servant, contributed her know-how – to change her mother-in-law’s old ideas and old habits, not too quickly, but little by little.
Qu Huichao’s mother-in-law brought a lot of old furniture with her when she moved to a new home, and even Qu’s husband couldn’t stand it, but Qu, as a daughter-in-law, spoke up for her mother-in-law and fully understood the old mentality of the elderly. After Qu’s mother-in-law moved to a new home, she took the initiative to eliminate a number of old appliances that had been in service for more than ten years, and three months later, she eliminated the dining table and chairs. After several eliminations, the old furniture left behind is considered classic. Qu Huichao said: “I live with my mother-in-law, influence her, change her concept of consumption, can only do little by little. If we force my mother-in-law to adapt to us, it would not be fair to her, she would feel the loss of control over her life and would feel that the younger generation does not respect her. Once the resistance is created, it’s extra hard to change her frugal and nostalgic mindset.”
2. Lies with good intentions that can be concealed
“If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, there is no greater conflict than the conflict of consumer attitudes.” Liu Jiaxin, a 32-year-old brand agent, believes that “older people are generally very stubborn, and their frugal instincts are the mark of decades of stretched poverty, and directly advising them to ‘think outside the box’ often leads to countless arguments and gossip.” Liu Jiaxin’s trick is to “conceal if you can”. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
With this concealment, the mother-in-law was able to use it with peace of mind and wear it with joy. The best thing is that my mother-in-law had a serious illness, and Liu Jiaxin mentioned that she wanted to hire a part-time worker for her mother-in-law, but she refused to agree. Liu Jiaxin then sent her mother’s part-time worker over to do the “volunteer work”. The mother-in-law didn’t know until a year later that her daughter-in-law was paying 400 yuan a month for Auntie Zhang’s “volunteer work” here, but now she can’t leave Auntie Zhang even if she has to pay for it herself. The comfort and ease that comes with a part-time job has become part of her life.
3, Qiaoqiao to convey her feelings
Li Nan’s mother-in-law is heavy The company’s award tour and cocktail party at the Mid-Autumn Festival, Li Nan’s family was unable to return to her mother-in-law’s house for a reunion, and her mother-in-law didn’t even visit her door for more than a month, and called her father-in-law to pick up the phone, expressing her disappointment and dissatisfaction. Li Nan knows that at this time to “set the facts and reason”, explaining how the reception how to ease the contradictions of colleagues and create new contacts, mother-in-law are not listening to, and often, the more reasons you emphasize, the more angry mother-in-law will be, “Anyway, your things are important, only the old is not important. ” A sentence will block you to not be able to breathe. Li Nan called again and told her son to get ready to yell at his father-in-law, “Grandpa, I want to talk to my grandmother.” The mother-in-law’s ironclad attitude softened like dough when she encountered her grandson’s sweet words.
It’s definitely smart to bridge the gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law with the next generation’s petulant rants. Li Nan said with a smile, while the mother-in-law’s attitude a loosening, give some steps you hurry down ah, do not pretend to be reserved, to hold back the energy to share a high down. The more senior the mother-in-law is, the closer she is to the child, to be coaxed, to meet her wishes as much as possible, to concede the bet.
4. Putting the heart into the heart, role replacement
26-year-old Jiang Zi
Zi Jia was aggrieved at first, but later figured out, “I envision myself at 55 every time, and my own son being yelled at by his ‘brutal daughter-in-law’ The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services. I will also be heartbroken. The world’s mothers all have a lovely private heart.” After consciously thinking differently, Zijia began to show her “obedience” to her husband in front of her mother-in-law, displaying a rare good behavior and shyness, which made her mother-in-law happy but warned her son, “Don’t bully Zijia, I’m backing her up…. …”