Why do women need a “male best friend”? Some male BFFs seem to subvert the traditional concept of “big men” in women’s eyes, so why are they favored by women? Let’s look at the value of male BFFs.
First, lesbians need a male perspective, even if it’s not so “manly”
Men and women will always think a little differently, and women sometimes wonder – what would a man think about such an issue? In the course of counseling, visitors often ask the counselor: “As a man/woman, what do you think about this issue? I just really want to know what you men/women think.” The presence of a male best friend can give women a better understanding of what men think and is informative for women in their daily interpersonal encounters with other men. Uh, of course, a male best friend can also offer opinions that differ from a woman’s thoughts on how to deal with her boyfriend or husband, or when she wants to choose a dress for her lover but doesn’t know if the man likes it.
Second, female BFFs? There are some things that I would still like to talk about with the opposite sex
Being able to share emotions and secrets is an important ingredient in the value of a BFF’s existence. But we all actually have this feeling that there is something deep inside of us that we can’t possibly tell just one person. Of course, some secrets we keep to ourselves, some secrets we leave to our friends of the same sex, but there is always something else that needs to be said with friends of the opposite sex. This is not surprising, just like why many people who go to counseling want to pick a counselor of the opposite sex. There are several factors that prevent us from sharing some of our own secrets with the same sex, like a sense of potential competition between people of the same sex, the belief that people of the same sex can’t understand their own thoughts, and the fact that the problem itself can make them feel ashamed in a same-sex group. Thus, male best friends were born as another outlet for secrets.
Third, I’ve been exposed to too many women’s circles and need a proper change of pace
For many women who have been hanging out with their girlfriends for a long time, they often have a complicated love-hate attitude toward their “best sisters. The girl’s group is indeed very easy to have a common hobby and the basis of life, but the group is too homogeneous, there is inevitably some friction. The problem with a homogeneous group is that the hobbies and strengths are the same, but the weaknesses are often relatively the same. For example, a small group of girlfriends are all finicky types, and some times may feel that the other side is a bit stingy. Because of some limitations of femininity, some women are tired of discussing a little thing for a long time among female girlfriends, excessive gossiping, a little small-minded, often envious and jealous of such problems, and defect to the male camp. The male BFFs may have qualities such as rational generosity, idealistic pursuits, and completely different preferences from women, making women feel tolerated, accepted, and exposed to new aspects of life.
Fourth, feeling safe and cared for
Women tend to feel less safe than men. Often less secure than men, women can feel more at ease in the relationship if they can feel secure from their male best friend. A male best friend who can express his feelings directly is obviously much safer than a man who responds with a nice mouth but doesn’t know what’s on his mind.
Fifth, I don’t want to become closer to him, but I want to hang out with him
There are so many men out there, and there is always one for a husband, and likewise, there is always one for a male friend who is a great relationship. You don’t necessarily want to marry him, but you’re always happy to be with him.
When it comes to the question of why men and women fall in love and get married, one factor that cannot be ignored is the similarity of the two people. In fact, a complementary relationship can also be described as an alternative manifestation of similarity. No matter what kind of person you find to become a husband, there is always a person who is the opposite of him who can attract your attention. If your lover is more similar to you, then your male best friend is often complementary to you, and vice versa. It’s like finding a very manly husband who may care more about the score than you during the World Cup, when you may need a male BFF to talk to who cares more about TV shows than soccer.
For you, he may never be a junior, he’s too much like you or too little like you. But if you talk to him, maybe you can laugh your head off, you have someone you like, but he is, indeed, a fun companion.