It is clear that other people’s feelings are at their fingertips, whether they want them or not. And they can not everything from the heart, why? Because they are a long-distance love family. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want.
The emotional psychology of long-distance relationships is most conflicting, sometimes excited and sometimes depressed by a text message from the other side, a phone call, knowing why the other side is not around but all kinds of complaints and sadness because of big and small things! Obviously other people’s feelings whether they want or do not want, are able to handy. And they can not everything from the heart, why? Because they are a long-distance love family. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
Data: Less than 40% of netizens think long-distance relationships can work
When it comes to long-distance romance, Cowherd and Weaving Maiden are known by netizens as the “originators” of long-distance romance. In August this year, for the widespread existence of long-distance romance in life, CenturyLink released the country’s first research on the marriage situation specifically for people in “long-distance romance”.
The survey showed that more than 60% of the survey respondents supported long-distance relationships, and about 40% of them could accept long-distance relationships, but less than 40% of them thought that long-distance relationships could be successful. Among them, “loneliness”, “insecurity” and “the appearance of a third party” occupies the “long-distance relationship killer”
The top three of the list.
In the survey, 12.42% of the respondents had experienced or were in a long-distance relationship. In the face of the question “What is the biggest obstacle to long-distance relationship”, 36.02% of them think loneliness is the main factor, including physical loneliness and spiritual loneliness, and 18.02% each choose “the appearance of a third party” and “insecurity”. The percentage of “insecurity” is 18.63% each.
In another survey on “duration of long-distance relationship”, 45.53% chose within one year and 70% chose within three years; the number of people who can maintain their long-distance relationship for three to five years dropped. The number of people who can maintain a long-distance relationship for three to five years has slipped to 15.3%, and those who last more than five years are around 15%. The “three-year itch” has become a “watershed” for the success of long-distance relationships.
Emotional experts analyze that for long-distance relationships, distance makes a simple hug a luxury, coupled with the loneliness of the soul, when you need each other’s company most, he/she can not be beside you, can only send love to the phone, SMS, tiktok, MSN. tiktok, MSN. The main reason for the lack of security is that we can’t live together, and the disadvantage of distance already exists when one party is too busy working and neglecting the other, the problem is even more pronounced.
Example: “Either quit your job or break up”
Mr. Zhang, who lives in Zhongyuan District, is 25 years old and is of marriageable age, but because his girlfriend is working abroad, their marriage has been postponed time and again.
“Last month, my family gave an ultimatum that if my girlfriend doesn’t quit her job and go back to Zhengzhou, they will ask for a breakup.” Mr. Zhang said he and his girlfriend is a free love in college, the relationship is very stable, but then after graduation, he stayed in Zhengzhou, his girlfriend went to the field, the two long-term separation, can not see each other, only through the phone, tiktok to contact, over time, he felt that the feelings slowly fade.
Mr. Zhang said the woman sometimes complains on the phone, saying that he is not around when she encounters problems in her work and life, and often feels lonely and has no one to rely on. However, both of them have good jobs, and neither one is willing to quit.
“Now the pressure of life is even more hard hit by long-distance relationships, and both sides are unwilling to quit their jobs and leave everything they have behind, now it is possible to get married for love, the key is to get married and not still The two places are separated, not to mention the more difficult to do after having a child.” The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the market.
Mr. Zhang mentioned that he asked his girlfriend to resign not once or twice, but she never agreed, and his family forced him to get married, so he had no choice but to let her choose between “resigning” and “breaking up. “The company’s main goal is to provide a solution to the problem.
And Mr. Jia, who lives on Eighth Street, didn’t want to break up with his girlfriend because of the long-distance relationship, but now the two of them are in a deadlocked state.
“I hope she can quit her job and go back to Zhengzhou, but my girlfriend is not willing, after all, it is not easy to take the civil service exam to Tianjin, and the job is good, now it is her to buy a house in Tianjin, I buy a house in Zhengzhou, for the time being deadlocked. ” Mr. Jia said, the two have been engaged to get married next year, but every time I think of being in a different place is also very helpless, “usually busy, basically a month and a half to see once, and now think about whether I can get the company to send me out to the office in Tianjin, living for a few years, but ultimately to return to Zhengzhou, after all, parents are on this side.” Mr. Jia said.
Temporary long-distance separation can test true love
In fact, in life, there are many cases of long-distance love The two sides are also very depressed and torn in the face of long-distance love, after all, if the solution to long-distance love, one of them must quit their job and start over in another city, so long-distance love has also become the least favored love.
So what do netizens think about this? The reporter also conducted a random interview.
For long-distance relationship, netizen “Dune” has a pessimistic attitude: long-distance relationship is a bit sour, not in each other’s circle of life, so it’s not enough to be true and down-to-earth. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public.
Netizen “Chicken Feathers” is a cautionary tale for everyone: long-distance love means the pain of longing, infinite attachment and waiting, and a great deal of trust in her/him and faith in this love. The love of the love of the faith. So people who do not believe in love should not choose, people who do not love deeply should not choose, and people who are weak-willed should not choose. It is only those who believe in love, who love deeply, who are traditional and who are strong-willed that can persevere.
Netizens “WEming” and “Anexcuse” are unanimously not optimistic: long-distance love is hard and tiring. The actual fact is, it is very tiring, only those who have experienced it can understand the pain. I’ve been there, and now I’ve given up. I don’t want a long-distance relationship.
But not everyone is against long-distance romance, there are also supporters, netizens “rare rice” said: as long as the two have a heart to heart, naturally, you can not require the day to day. Even 1000 kilometers apart can sense each other’s gentle scent. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
Netizen “Rice Khule” is a success story of long-distance love: I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 5 years, and this year we finally got the flowers to bloom and the fruits to ripen, and we’ve walked down the aisle to get married. In fact, as long as the two people really feel, long-distance should not become a hindering factor. However, after marriage we have to consider the issue of transfer, because life is always to live together to have a taste. I think a temporary long-distance separation can test true love.
Advice: set principles that guide long-distance relationships and trust each other
In chats with friends and online friends around This reporter found that unsuccessful long-distance relationships are often not because of a lack of love, but ultimately love loses to distance, to loneliness, to distrust.
So how do couples who are still in long-distance relationships maintain this difficult love?
The journalist summarized the interviewers’ suggestions and came up with the following conclusions for long-distance couples:
First of all, both parties should set Some principles to guide your long-distance relationship, such as no intimate dates with other people without mutual consent, daily communication, and seeing each other at least once every two or three months.
In fact, there have been many successful long-distance relationships, mostly because they were able to emulate the patterns of normal relationships. One of them is daily communication. Also, expressing your feelings boldly to each other, through email, instant messenger, and phone calls is very important for the growth and stability of the relationship.
Long-distance relationships, since you often don’t see each other, should focus more on sending things to each other, and from time to time, prepare something to send to your long-distance partner to express your hang-ups. The more personalized and imaginative you are, the more impressed your partner will be with your thoughtfulness.
Long-distance relationships are often the hardest when it comes to holidays or love-related festivals. If you can’t, you can experience a “date night” together and share a good time over the phone.
Also, the most important thing is to trust each other, because one of the most important things that ruins long-distance relationships is distrust. Because deep in the long distance still do not trust each other, then is their own destruction of their own feelings. And the way to ensure trust is to see each other often, which is very important for the success of a long distance relationship.
And finally, learn to create surprises. People will often hear people say, “I like surprises.” Surprises are fun because they come out of nowhere and they show the thoughtfulness of the person making them, which is the easiest thing to get a lover to do.