Some people have their own individual views and prejudices when it comes to relationships. There are many thorns and obstacles on the road of love, one of which is “prejudice”. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth almost misses out on a good relationship because she makes premature judgments about Darcy, and what are the “love theories” that tend to get in the way of our love?
1.If you love me, you should know what I need!
● Misuse:
Few There are girls who have not touched this poisonous weed. The first time you fall in love, the boys will give their little princess the illusion of such heart-to-heart: when it’s cold, he gives you a coat; when you’re thirsty, he serves a drink. Just a good time, with the stability of the relationship, the boy began to go away girls are in love with the riddle – do not tell him what I need, let him take the initiative to do. Thinking this is the litmus test for love.
●Psychological Scan:
When she was young, her mom knew all her needs, and it was the most beautiful time for her. When she found her other half, she felt the same kind of unconditional thoughtfulness as she did when she was young, and mistook him for the ideal parent. However, he only interpreted her needs according to his own. If there is an intersection, it is a mutual blessing; beyond the intersection, it is a place to rub together.
●Operation guide: This theory only applies in the areas where you already know each other. If he is attentive, he will pay attention and care about your feelings. And for what he does not understand, it is your responsibility to tell him. Say what you have to say. There are some thoughts that you yourself may not know. He’s not a god. If you don’t say it, who can know?
2. If you love each other, you can have it all!
● Misuse:
With The dream of a teenage girl encounters an encounter at some mischievous moment. In order to protect this love like a movie plot, can and family break, can regard the advice of friends as air, despite the repeated reminders of reality, closed eyes and continue to weave a beautiful dream, refused to wake up. In this love story, it is as if the heroine has extraordinary power and all difficulties are out of the question.
●Psychological scan: Idol drama instills us with a lot of beautiful fantasies, and if you hold on to this fantasy and refuse to let go, you will not grow up, plus your chances of getting hit are greatly increased if you have always revered the spiritual world. Those girls who are used to avoiding reality and are not well socialized are also prone to be part of this.
Operation Guide: Couples who say this usually have one thing in common-their relationship is getting a lot of flack from friends and family around them, so they use it to cheer themselves and each other up. However, being in love is a necessary but not sufficient condition for intimacy. The idea that “love can replace everything” comes from the youthful days when love was big and the world was small. It may be more suitable for those who are only in love and not married.
3. Women are born to be pampered!
●Inappropriate use: You don’t work, you sleep until you wake up every day; you only do things you like, such as shopping and sweeping, clubbing and gossiping with friends, or watching a few petty movies. The boyfriend or husband should be absolutely at your command, his mission is to meet your needs. The other half is the “backdrop” to your world.
●Psychological Scan: You are either a spoiled princess who never learned the important lesson of “caring for others” and focused on yourself, or you are a bitter child who has been deprived of love since childhood and has grown up and found a way to be more caring. The first thing you need to do is to find every opportunity to make up for the lack of love from your parents.
Tip: For those girls who are overly giving without themselves, use this quote to remind yourself to love yourself more and to create more opportunities for those around you to give. But if you are already very “narcissistic”, it’s a different story. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that the woman is 100% loving,” said Junichi Watanabe.
4.
●Inappropriate use: Despite the pursuit of many refined gentlemen, you always find them uninteresting. In contrast, when you meet those “gangsters” or wannabes with peachy eyes, you are hopelessly attracted to them, knowing that it is a bad road to take, but also to “carry on despite the millions of people”. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
●Psychological Scan: The “bad boy” can inspire a girl’s primitive motherhood, making her uncomfortable to give up the “stray child The “bad boy” can stimulate the girl’s primitive maternal nature, so that she can’t bear to abandon this “stray child”. In her love, there is more pity. There are also some good girls, hidden within the rebellious ideas do not dare to realize, and the bad boy can replace her to complete. His unpredictable behavior, in particular, satisfies her desire to stray from the norm.
Tip: Don’t rule out the possibility that behind the “badness” of your falling in love with him, there is a hidden goodness to make him better. There are indeed a very few lucky girls with kindness and tenderness to let the prodigal son back, while most girls are destined to fall into the trap of entanglement. Your efforts fail again and again, and your intentions are gnawed away again and again. So weigh your ability and tolerance for how long he can tolerate the blow when he tries your bottom line.
5. Don’t care if it lasts forever, just that it once did!
●Misuse: This slogan, although no longer fashionable, is shown by what many girls do, and still espouses in her consciousness the idea of what happens when you have an addiction. She seems to be so in love that she could care less about the eyes around her, not think about what the future holds, and not even take into account the pain of others. On the contrary, the more it is not favored and blessed by others, the more she is going forward with the energy to carry on the love to the end. The truth is, how many girls in a relationship can do it in style and get in and out, all in one piece?
●Psychological Scan: Rather than being righteous for love, the subconscious desire to claim and possess drives you to seek strong feelings. It’s like a child playing with a toy, just get your hands on it and it’s as if you have the world. After a while the novelty is gone and you are looking for a new target. In addition, a sense of competition plays a role in pushing you to prove that you are different and to attract the attention of others.
●Operational guide: A truly mature relationship is long-term. Love requires total commitment, but if you don’t approach the emotion with a heart for the long haul, then what you once had will be nothing more than unbearable hurt.
6. Men are no good!
●Improper use: Once she has this understanding, then the men who appear in her life are more or less looking for stigmas. She has no confidence in her love, making men who approach her ashamed of themselves, and women who approach her stained with fear for the future. The fact that she is ostensibly in denial about men actually makes her more skeptical about her own luck in finding the right man.
●Psychological Scan: This person has either unconsciously inherited the pain passed down through her family or has negatively learned “lessons” from the misadventures of her girlfriends around her, allowing her to grow up in an environment where she complains about men. The idea of complaining about men is naturally formed in the environment of men. The fact that they are complaining about men also gives them the advantage of being able to shirk responsibility for the failure of the relationship, and on the other hand, in the company of the opposite sex, the other person will be more or less aware of their own behavior to avoid being hit by her words.
Operation Guide: When you meet someone you shouldn’t love, this phrase can be used as a shield. But once the scope is expanded, you isolate yourself. There are no absolutes, and the best way to find a good man is for you to be a good enough woman and also have the discerning eye to find the good in others.
7. Marriage is the grave of love
● Misuse. So many people around them get married, their lives lack life and romance, and people become vulgar. No wonder their husbands go out to find their soulmates. You don’t want to torture yourself into a yellow face, to retain the feeling of being in love, because that person does not know how to cherish once he walks into marriage.
●Psychological scan: Many people fear intimacy, fearing that it will bring misery and pain. So they have to protect themselves and find a reason to wander around the fence, hesitating to cross over. There are also people who cannot imagine how boring it would be to keep one person all year round. There are still so many wonderful things left to experience, so many possibilities waiting to be realized.
●Operation guide: It’s not about whether or not you get married, it’s about whether you can always retain the interaction you had when you were in love. Also, we are all imperfect, so don’t expect marriage to be perfect either. The theory is not for you to reject marriage, but to accept imperfection as a fact!
8. Men who are older know how to take care of people
● The first thing you need to do is to take care of yourself, because he’ll be there to remind you and take care of you; he’ll be able to provide effective advice on work and interpersonal relationships, so you can take the easy way out. However, when you “grow up”, perhaps his advantage will no longer exist, your dissatisfaction will grow day by day. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
●Psychological Scan: The “father complex” is widely used, and indeed, many girls who were pampered by their fathers in childhood grow up to rely on older men to try to recapture and replicate the happy times of the past. The happy times of the past. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
●Operation Guide: Being able to take care of others is determined by a person’s upbringing and traits, young or old. And, some people who are taken care of to the fullest extent, get satisfaction and also feel bound to feel that they need not only a “dad” but also a dynamic partner. At the same time, no matter how old a man is, there is always a “child” inside who is looking forward to motherly love, waiting for you to soothe. The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.
How to make love theory work for me
The boat is moving and the sword is stopping and you can’t see the sword in the new current. Likewise, stereotypical theories, applied to a living love life, will only bring regret and pain. The so-called happy love is not to find someone who meets your theoretical criteria, but to be able to understand and use theories correctly with an open mind according to your inner feelings, no matter what kind of situation you encounter, so that theories can serve love instead of binding love with them. Then, work toward the good. Remember: never mistake a theory as the only explanation for love; it is just a tool for us to refer to, nothing more.